Re: moral support

Joanna Cohen

Thank you to everyone who replied to my post. It's so helpful to hear from others who have gone through similar trials. My daughter is still having a hard time. When we arrived today to visit, she again begged us to take her home, saying she didn't belong there. In some ways, I could see what she meant (at least, how she perceived it from her vantage point) -- she is not suicidal and many of the children currently there have expressed a desire to harm themselves (this is based on what I observed and what my daughter shared from group). She's pretty sensitive and sheltered as well (through no doing of ours, but because she has isolated herself so much) and there are currently many children who are loud and somewhat aggressive. Her room was across from the seclusion room, which I think was pretty tough for her. We moved her down the hall while we were there. She's among the oldest (12). She's with kids who are 5-12. 

I feel like she needs a place that's more nurturing and hands on. At NYP, it felt like the nurses were occupied with keeping the kids contained. I know NYP is an acute care setting, and my daughter is in need of acute care, but looking ahead, I'm wondering what we should consider. We recently visited a therapeutic boarding school that we liked quite a bit -- I'm of course concerned about sending her away again, although I do think it's what she needs, therapeutically. We may have to wait to get the DOE to approve sending her there. Does anyone know of a PHP or IOP that we might consider in the meantime? (We visited Bellevue's PHP, and I'm not in love with it, but it might be our only option.)

Again, thank you for all of your support during this incredibly difficult time. I would be lost without this group!


On Tue, Feb 11, 2020 at 4:28 PM Deborah Levine via Groups.Io <> wrote:
My daughter spent a week at NY Presbyterian in White Plains last spring and I felt it was a very positive experience, and the staff were very supportive. Our situation was a bit different in that we had to bring her to the ER (at NY Presbyterian in the city) because of a threat of self harm, and she ended up having to spend 3 nights there because there weren't any available beds in White Plains over the weekend. The first night in the ER she was furious and screaming and they almost had to restrain her. But by the next morning she had bonded with the other kids, and after that things went much smoother. Once she got to White Plains, being around the other kids (and seeing that so many "normal" kids are dealing with similar struggles) was really good for her. While the psychiatrist she consulted with there wasn't terribly warm & fuzzy, the social worker who worked with her every day was incredible--I wish she could see her regularly. 

Inpatient was in no way a cure-all for my daughter, but I do think it was helpful and it was a relief to feel she was someplace safe where she was getting support whether she wanted it or not. Once your daughter has a chance to get used to the environment I think there's a good chance she'll benefit from it. If not, maybe they'll suggest moving her to partial, so the separation from you won't be as extreme.

Thinking positive thoughts for you and your daughter,

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